NOT: Madame de Sade, Wyndham's Theatre, Charing Cross Road, London WC2H 0DA

The third of the Donmar West End's blockbuster productions was the sold-out production of Madame de Sade, starring the venerable Dame Judy Dench. However, on the night Margaret and I saw her, she didn't blow me away. In fact, she even fluffed her lines a couple of times and had to stop obviously a couple of times, leaving her cast members to rescue her from a prolonged silence. Personally, I thought ex-Bond girl Rosamund Pike as Madame de Sade was much better, with her crisp clear tones and elegant and beautiful in her corsetted, crinolined silk gowns.

Further, both Margaret and I found the story of six women variously involved in the perversions of the Marquis de Sade (oddly, written by a Japanese author) to be a bit stressful to sit through after a long day. Along with that, it was at times incomprehensible, with strange fantastical interludes and particularly inexplicable behaviour by the Madame. Overall, not a particularly enjoyable theatrical experience.

HOT: National Theatre Backstage Tour, Southbank SE1 9PX

Transport for London conspired to work against me one last time on my final day in London....hence I arrived 15 minutes late to the National Theatre backstage tour. Luckily, the box office girl also moonlighted as a tour guide sometimes, so she was able to whip me around the first 15 minutes of the tour before dropping me off with the rest of the group, who were in the carpentry and set design area backstage.

The tour provides an interesting insight into the background workings of one of my favourite London theatrical haunts. We were led through various areas, enroute spotting carpenters mending War Horse puppets, artists spraypainting the huge backdrop for the upcoming production of Death and the Kings Horsemen, passing around various latex items from the props department such as an incredibly realistic hamburger, and being told about the massive drop in the Olivier stage which allowed things like swimming pools to be built (Much Ado about Nothing), giant ship prows to rise above the ice (Fram) and the raising of a hot air balloon (His Dark Materials).

The highlight was walking out onto the stage of the main auditorium, the Greek-inspired Olivier Theatre. Surprisingly for such a large theatre, I didn't feel overwhelmed out on stage, and I could even imagine myself addressing an audience :)

NOT: Burnt by the Sun, National Theatre, Southbank SE1 9PX

Burnt by the Sun is a stage adaptation of the Oscar-winning Russian film of the same name. I remember watching the film and being struck by the idyllic Russian landscape, the languid summer heat and the creeping feeling of menace that begins when an unexpected guest arrives at the house.

On stage, it's hard to capture that kind of atmosphere, although the rotating set of the cut-away country dacha was very inventive. Also, the twist in this story of love and revenge doesn't seem quite so original when you know that the playwright adapted a screenplay written by others.

I have previously been impressed Rory Kinnear in The Revenger's Tragedy and Man of Mode, but in this role I was never really convinced that he once loved Maroussia so passionately that he would fulfil a personal vendetta against her husband. His former love affair just wasn't credible as there was little chemistry between Kinnear and Michelle Dockery. Dockery, whilst quite good, played Maroussia in a very similar vein to Eliza Doolittle in her recent Pygmalion so I found that I was watching her act, rather than be.

All in all, it was a sound production, but not one to get particularly excited about - a shame as the film is one of my favourite foreign films.

HOT: Taming of the Shrew, Royal Shakespeare Company, Novello Theatre, Aldwych WC2B 4LD

As a theatre-hound, I've been lucky to have a pretty good hit rate with my theatre jaunts. Once in a while, though, a piece of theatre absolutely blows me away. The Royal Shakespeare Company's production of Taming of the Shrew is one of them.

Shakespeare's text in this play is very difficult to make relevant in today's society. Petruchio's casual misogymy and his cruel humilitation, starvation and torture of Kate in order to 'tame' her are really hard for a modern audience to stomach. This production takes an unusual interpretation; Kate (a brilliantly haughty Michelle Gomez), instead of being submissive and grateful for Petruchio's love, turns into an automaton who does everything at Petruchio's bidding. Her deadened obedience leaves you wondering whether it was truly worth 'winning the wager' if he is married to such a spiritless shell. Then, as Petruchio is stripped to become the vagrant Sly and his stinky clothes are contemptuously thrown back at him, you discover that in fact Kate comes out with the upper hand. This production's fluid time-switching and role-switching gave me a whole new perspective on the play, renewing my faith in its ability to be relevant to gender relations in modern times.

With RSC, you expect the actors to be of a high standard, so the other standout for me was the inventive set. The players spilled out of their truck into a cute candy-cane representation of Italianate architecture, with waist-high buildings transforming into tables and drawers and revealing platters and fruit bowls. A four-sided turning tower took on different edifices of different time periods, from a Renaissance tower to a seedy pole-dancing nightclub. Also, the bright costuming ranged from jewel-slashed breeches to modern day suits and ties as the play progressed.

All in all, a highly enjoyable and engrossing piece of theatre and one of my highlights for 2009. Go and see this!

HOT: Othello, Royal Shakespeare Company, 291 Mare St Hackney E8 1EJ

The Royal Shakespeare Company have taken their plays on tour to London, and the travelling troupe have landed at the Hackney Empire. In a city filled with beautifully restored theatres, the Empire is still striking with its lofty gilded and ornate interior. However, in my view its traditional raised stage and far-away circle was not as effective as the RSC's own theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon. And it is really far away from any useful form of public transport to West or South London.

I've never seen Othello before, so before I start, let me just warn any other first-timers that they take a long time to die - 3.5 hours of intense Shakespearean text on a school night is a hard ask. I think it's a play that rewards deep and prolonged study, and a quick scan of Wikipedia on the tube doesn't begin to scratch the surface.

In this production, I thought the stand out performance was Antony Sher's as Iago, Othello's twisted and menacing Ancient. He did fluff his line a couple of times, but he was exciting to watch (Funnily enough I recognised him from The Factory's production of Hamlet, and had thought at the time that he was a talented out-of-work actor looking for a break while pulling pints.) On the other hand, I really disliked Othello. His spitting, drawling and rolling delivery was not just light and shade, but created unnecessary melodrama which distracted me from an already dramatic text.

HOT: England People Very Nice, National Theatre, Southbank

England People Very Nice is no Shakespearen play (but hey, I'm doing Shakespeare twice this week already) but it does tell an entertaining story of four waves of immigration through the 'paradise' of Bethnal Green. The play tries to draw the storylines together with the common themes of prejudice, racism, other-ness and integration, but I thought it dealt with these issues very superficially and didn't provide any new or thought-provoking insights. Still, just appreciate the fun, the jokes and the cool graphics as you watch how the French Huguenots, the Irish, the Jews and the Bangladeshis rebuild their lives in this corner of the London.

HOT: The 39 Steps, Criterion Theatre 2 Jermyn St Piccadilly Circus SW1Y 4XA

Alfred Hitchcock's film is given a comedy theatre makeover in the Criterion Theatre's production of The 39 Steps. It's a fun romp through the spy story as it trundles through London and the Scottish Highlands, the 150 parts are well coordinated through the four actors and some of the effects (such as the bi-plane chase and crash) are cleverly innovative. Beware sitting in the very front though, as we were often engulfed by stage fog and smoke, and then caught most of the snow downpour at the end.

A good night out at the theatre, although to be honest I've seen similar plays done better by Kneehigh Theatre's Brief Encounter and the Spyski. The tickets are currently half price.

HOT: Every Good Boy Deserves Favour, National Theatre, Southbank

I didn't actually get the title of Every Good Boy Deserves Favour until I realised that one of the characters (a schizophrenic who thought he had an orchestra in his head) talked only in musical terms - and of course 'Every Good Boy Deserves Favour' is a pneumonic for remembering the lines of the treble clef. I can't say that the somewhat dated plotline about a Soviet dissident imprisoned in a mental hospital, or any of the characters, really had me emotionally engaged. Nevertheless, this play gets a HOT because of two reasons. Firstly, I very much enjoyed Tom Stoppard's witty and twisting prose for the schizophrenic character, which often had me turning over a line in my head well after it'd been delivered. Secondly, the production was of a very high quality. I liked the integration of Andre Previn's music played by the full orchestra on stage, the physical dance sequence (although some of it was a bit literal 'here is the KGB beating people up') and the revolving floor of the set - a combination of stark hospital white tiles and the dim light of an orchestra pit.

HOT: La Clique, London Hippodrome, 10-14 Cranbourne Street WC2H 7AJ

I hate burlesque. However, Jen's constant raving about La Clique, plus their sell-out shows all around the world, made me think I should at least give this circus/cabaret/vaudeville/burlesque show a chance. The excited atmosphere inside the Hippodrome got me off to a good start, and I was thoroughly entertained for the next two hours with the gasp-inducing feats of the two strongmen, the stressful contortions of the double-jointed Captain Frodo, the famous bathtub act and the beautiful Ukranian hoop spinner. One of the less successful acts was, you guessed it, the burlesque number involving full-frontal nudity and a magic trick, and I really don't enjoy watching people swallowing random stuff like scissors and table legs. A fun night out on a chilly Sunday night - but I still maintain I hate burlesque.

PS The friendly usher told me that the posh seats (where you get table service) in fact get the worst views because they're next to and not facing the piano. So save your money and use your legs to get your own drinks.

HOT: Piaf, Vaudeville Theatre, 404 Strand WC2R 0NH

When an actor is playing a real life person, it can often be hard to distinguish between a skillful imitation and when the actor is really getting into the skin of the other person. What makes the Donmar's production of Piaf so spectacular is the unnervingly convincing portrayal of the Little Sparrow by Elena Roger - a tiny Argentinian who doesn't speak French. I think she could have run the show solo - the flitting in and out of lovers, friends and colleagues all paled in comparison to her engrossing performance, which captured Piaf's firecracker spirit, creeping vulnerability and pain and above all her powerfully emotional singing, down to every sideways shoulder glance and distinctive nasal vibrato.

HOT: Ivanov, Donmar West End, Wyndhams Theatre, Charing Cross Road WC2H 0DA

The first of Donmar's star-studded West End productions is a new version of Chekhov's classic Ivanov, written by Tom Stoppard and starring Kenneth Branagh. Firstly, Tom: For me the English drawing room 'old chap' inflexions really sat at odds with the obviously Russian setting of the drama, and Ivanov's particularly Russian brand of moroseness. Therefore, I would have preferred a straight-down-the-line translation of the original Chekhov text, but I think I'm in the minority. Secondly, Kenneth: His portrayal of Ivanov's spiralling despair was riveting and I was most impressed when he delivered his twisting monologues with such great clarity, believable passion and a finely-judged sense of light and shade. His consummate skill as an actor was further heightened in his scenes with the doctor, who was an irritating and over-played 'honest man' line-drawing.

HOT: Table Manners, Old Vic Theatre, The Cut SE1 8NB

The Old Vic is showing the Norman Conquests trilogy for the first time in 34 years, and the first of the plays, Table Manners, takes place in the dining room of a country house over a weekend with six characters. I think you'd find this comedy of manners absolutely hysterical if you were English and understood the hilarity of East Grinstead as a dirty weekend location and noticed the small affectations of the middle class set a la Hyacinth Bucket. Luckily, I was in the middle of reading a pop-anthropology book called 'Watching the English' which delved into the mysteries and intricacies of English behaviour, which meant that I had 'ah-ha' moments when a character was folding napkins into cone shapes, or the bumbling apologies of the country vet, all of which were a bit lost on Huy.

NOT: The Walworth Farce, National Theatre, Southbank

I often don't remember or have time to read up on the plot of a play before I attend the production. Sometimes this turns up unexpected pleasures (Waves, Brief Encounter, Black Watch), sometimes I regret the time, money and concentration expended (De Profundis, That Face). Despite sell-out shows and a revival due to popular demand, The Walworth Farce goes in the second bucket for me. It was an intensely stressful two hours, punctuated by loopy spitfire dialogue, screaming, head-wrenching and violence with only a few moments of lightness to relieve it (and the jokes weren't even that funny). All the characters were unsympathetic, hateful and frustrating, except for Hayley, the smiling Tesco girl, who only arrived in the second half. I observed that some of the audience left at interval, so evidently I'm not alone in my views.

HOT: Oedipus, National Theatre, Southbank

This adaptation of Sophocles' powerful Greek tragedy hit all the right notes for me, so get a return ticket to the sold-out season if you can. OK, so it wasn't all joy and laughter but then I didn't expect it to be. Firstly, the set: I thought the tilting and revolving copper-rusted stage was very effective in embodying the characters' and the chorus' increasing disorientation and uncertainty, and the briefly exposed, starkly backlit trees added to the eerie gloom. Secondly, the script: How to help the audience relate to a centuries-old, slightly far-fetched story? I was very impressed with the adaptation by Frank McGuiness (of Angela's Ashes fame) as his modern phrasing (but not incongrously so) made the unfolding of the tragedy much more easy to follow and believable. Thirdly, the chorus: It's difficult to incorporate the lamentations and contemplations of a Greek chorus without sounding ridiculous in this era of realism, so I thought the singing, dancing and interactions between the chorus and the main characters was a very effective device. Finally, the actors: Alan Howard's Teiresias was solid and staunchly moral, Clare Higgins's Jocasta was too shrill and hysterically shuddering for my liking, but my Oscar goes to Ralph Fiennes. When an actor is that good, it is thrilling to watch. His descent into agony and wretchedness was terrifying, and when his animal wail broke through the silence, my body went absolutely still and cold. Superb.

HOT: Spyski, Lyric Hammersmith, Kings Mall, Hammersmith W6 0QL

My ticket said "The Importance of Being Earnest (definitely not Spyski)". OK, I thought, so it's part of some joke. Then the printed programs said "The Importance of Being Earnest" and the blackboard also said "The Importance of Being Earnest (not Spyski)". Confusion and disappointment - had I made a mistake and bought tickets to an Oscar Wilde play? All was revealed in this hysterically funny and playfully creative production featuring camp Russian spies, genetically engineered babies, Cockfosters, key swallowing and Chinese spring-roll Russian roulette - and yes, The Importance of Being Earnest does feature but in an unexpected way. I can't tell you anymore (because then I'd have to kill you) but buy a £10 ticket now for one of the funniest, most enjoyable nights at the theatre.

Update 13 October 2008: If you buy tickets through lastminute, they're only £5!

NOT: 365, Lyric Hammersmith, Lyric Square, King St, Hammersmith W6 0QL

I had high expectations of this National Theatre of Scotland production, the same company who produced the acclaimed Black Watch. However, while there were similarities (interpretative dance, floating from wires, set pieces dropping from the ceiling and used to heighten emotional states), the main difference and my major criticism is that the play lacked light and shade. Unfortunately, this lessened the potential emotional impact of its worthy subject matter - exploring the background, reactions and emotions of adolescents who had been through the public foster care system. Each of the dozen characters repetitively explored the same themes of isolation, anxiety and loneliness, which equated to two non-stop hours of grinding, relentless grimness that left all of us feeling stressed.

NOT: in-i, National Theatre, Southbank

The world premiere of a collaboration between Juliette Binoche, actress-extraordinare, and the choreographer Akram Khan, sounded like it would be an exciting theatrical experience. Unfortunately, I don't think the piece was effective either a dance work, or a theatrical work. It was obvious that Binoche was not a dancer and I found the lack of tautness in her movements distracting, yet when she was acting it was through a rambling monologue where she was suspended ridiculously in the air against a wall. On the other hand, I loved Khan's sharp physicality, but his delivery of dialogue lacked emotional punch. The production's exploration of relationships was too fragmented and lacked the focus and excitement to keep my interest, and I found myself drifting off at times.

NOT: De Profundis, National Theatre, Southbank

Corin Redgrave is part of an acting dynasty and Oscar Wilde is one of the premier playwrights of his time. Should be a theatrical dream come true? Unfortunately, a monologue on a bare stage with Redgraves' soothing bedtime story voice meant that I drifted in and out of sleep (as did other audience members) so I didn't really get the full impact of Wilde's passionate letter to his homosexual lover, written while he was in prison for sodomy and indecency. I'd like to read the text again though, as it is probably his 'last beautiful work'.

HOT: Helium, Barbican Centre

The child-like wonder of Slung Low's Helium starts when grinning removalists call you by your name and hand you an invitation to a birthday party. One by one, each audience member is led through a series of wooden boxes where the characters unfold pieces of the backwards story, and where you're free to wander, listen and touch (and eat popcorn). I can't explain any more because it would ruin the surprise, so my only advice is to get a ticket as soon as you can - it'll be one of the most delightful and imaginative shows you'll ever experience.

HOT: Waves, National Theatre

Fifteen minutes after the play started, I was really worried that I would become badly mired in a swamp of confusion for the next two hours. Trying to decipher any linear plot in Virginia Woolf's story was like trying to chase ephemeral dandelions in the sky - I'd grasp a small moment of clarity, and then it'd disappear. Thankfully, the small group of actors danced a breathtakingly precise, seamless ballet of sound effects, multiple cameras, costume changes, fragmented scenery and snippets of dialogue, turning a brain-fog into a very enjoyable theatrical experience.